So, my (not so) baby cousin and I were having a pretty heated chat about love and money. Basically the issue was whether money should be a priority in a relationship. My dearest cousin argued that love was the most important and emphasized the “make it work” mentality. Naturally, I decided to write a blogpost about this topic and of course I went to snapchat to see what people thought. Let’s first see what everyone had to say before I tell you what I think.
Of course you know what my cousin thinks, but a few friends weighed in.
One friend mentioned that money was important, but love should be the biggest priority in any relationship, especially one that has the potential of being long-term.
A colleague told me straight up the whole thing was complicated. On one end “if you have love, you have everything” , however money is an important factor in the whole equation. “If in the case the couple doesn't have a strong foundation, with money there will be issues and without money, it will be the same issue. Money should be a plus, or an addition to a relationship, but not the biggest priority.”
One of my close friends pointed out that there is nothing wrong with prioritizing financial stability, but it shouldn't be the number one priority and it shouldn’t supersede love in any instance.
This debate is one that has existed for generations, and for the most partpeople make it seem like it’s a polarized issue. You either are onone end looking solely for love, or you’re looking for money or some sort of benefit in any relationship.
Before we talk about what I think, let’s talk about this :
*SORRY I KNOW YOU’RE WAITING FOR THE PUNCHLINE, BUT SUSPENSE IS FUN, RIGHT?*
There are people who truly believe in love. Love regardless of how much that person makes or what their career is. These people are often referred to as “hopeless romantics”. If I’m being honest, I will definitely say that I was always so critical about these sort of people, often laughing at them and telling them “love can’t buy me a Prada bag”. Generally, these people get A LOT of flack. I mean, even think about the name. Hopeless is such a negative way to refer to someone who believes in “true love”. They're often bashed and seen as “weak” or “foolish”. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with believing in true, unconditional love.
Then, we have the people who see money as the most important factor in a relationship. These people are often referred to as a “gold-digger”. These people catch a lot of flack for this and many people who fall under this “category” are not open about their decision to prioritize this because of the (unsolicited) criticism those of us on our moral high horses seem to always offer up.
Now if you don't fall under either category, what does that make you? You probably are like me (and like 60% of the world’s population). Realistically speaking these outlooks are not polarized. You really don't have to be either/or.
My take on the issue is simple: I can have both love and money as top priorities in a relationship. Of course other factors matter, such as a relationship with Jesus, passion for social justice and love for Beyonce, you know?
I can prioritize both. I can want both. I can expect both and more. I want and expect “true love” (wow did I just say that) and I ALSO expect to have financial security. If I’m bringing all of this and more to the table, then why shouldn't my partner? I’m not ashamed of prioritizing both…anymore. There was a time in (recent) history where I found myself overcompensating and trying to be someone I’m not. I’m learning that to want both, or one, or neither is perfectly fine and I’m okay with that. In the words of Chance The Rapperreceive this victory in the name of The Lord!”. Yes, it’s that serious.
You heard it here first guys. Now if only Kofi Sriboe (Or Obama) could come across this post and slide in my DMs…..
Thanks for reading.