Eyek Ntekim 

Writer + Content Creator

Hello and welcome to my blog! AfrikanRising is a place where I (Eyek) discuss (complete) health, beauty, and social justice. As a twentysomething year old Nigerian, I'm sharing my stories, from my struggles with self acceptance, to my favorite skincare products.

 I created this blog because I want you to feel something, whether that's joy, sadness or a desire to self-reflect. I'm learning and growing everyday and I want you to learn and grow with me. Join me on this journey and watch this African rise. 

 

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Here's The Tea: I'm Rude

Here's The Tea: I'm Rude

“You didn't have to give me ‘the eye’, thats really rude”. Okay and repeatedly bumping into me without saying excuse me isn’t, because you're over the age of 50…Ok gotcha. 

So let me tell you guys what happened recently, it may seem boring at first, but trust me, I’m on to something here. Okay?

So, it was Easter Sunday and I had to get my Shoprite fix. Of course the lines were super long and basically going down the aisles because why oh why would Shoprite have more than three registers open? (*rolls eyes*) Anyways, so as usual the lines were from here to Ghana and people of course have to make things worse by getting in front of people and acting like they don't see people behind them..Yeah I’m feeling shady at the moment, forgive me. 

Okay so anyways, I was in line, this one wasn't going super long, just half way down the aisle. Usually I stand at the side of my cart when I’m in lines like these to make way for people to get through. I felt someone coming from behind me and before I could do anything, someone is repeatedly jamming their cart into my cart. Like….literally jamming their cart into my cart. . Not once did I hear excuse me, or “excuse” as many people like to say here. 

If you know me, you know that my facial expressions are very interesting and usually I never realize how severe they are until someone points it out. This situation was no different, obviously. 

I turn around to see who the clown is and it turns out to be an older lady, maybe in her late 40s/early 50s. Of course I wanted to make eye contact with her to show her that she was being inconsiderate,  in other words, I was giving her “the look”. 

Girl, tell me why this lady had the nerve to not only be shocked at my reaction, but she also was looking at me like I was the one playing bumper cars in the middle of Shoprite

Of course, being the thoughtful person I am (LOL), I explained to her why I was giving her the death glare and then she proceeded to say this: “ Okay I’m sorry. You didn't have to give me ‘the eye’, thats really rude. You're very rude”. Ok. noted.

So here is the problem..Nigerian culture really, really, REALLY values older people. That’s one aspect of our culture that I do really love, honestly. In our culture, older people are not neglected and are given a high level of reverence. Sometimes however, I think the level of “respect” we’re required to give is a tad too much.

All in the name of “respect” young people are often forced to accept what many see as abuse all in the name of respect. Take for example, a close friend of mine literally spent most of her life watching her mother be physically and verbally abused at the hands of her (paternal) grandmother. Each time she asked her mother why she put up with it,  she said “you have to give respect where it’s due”.

(Even worse, her father never confronted his mother or cut ties because it would be “disrespectful” to question his mother.)

Let’s talk about the countless number of times, a young person has been taken advantage of financially, emotionally, etc, all because they can’t say no. 

Many older people feel entitled to do whatever they want, such as bumping into people repeatedly without even saying sorry and turning it around to deflect responsibility.  

Funny enough, I know for a fact that if she had caused a scene, people would have defended her and told me that I was wrong.

As I said before, I do believe there is a due amount of respect that should be given to older people, but there is also a due amount of respect that should be given to everyone, of every age. 

Remember when I was talking about all the “isms” we have here in my beloved Nigeria? Ageism is DEFINITELY one of them.

Nonetheless, I didn’t let that keep me from enjoying the yummy meat-pie I bought. #Winning.

Thanks for reading.

-Eyek

Let's Talk Beauty: BathKandy Co.

Let's Talk Beauty: BathKandy Co.

Here's The Tea: 5 Things I've Learned About "Self-Love"

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