Boy Bye: 4 Signs of A Toxic Relationship
Okay so first of all, there is always this belief that toxicity only exists in romantic relationships, but the truth is that we can fall victim to toxic relationships with family, friends, and even with colleagues. Please note that these are my experiences, also please note that a lot of times a toxic relationship does not include physical abuse.
1.) They Don’t Support You
These type of people downplay your accomplishments or contributions, and often make you feel or directly tell you that you’re not good enough. There is a difference between criticism and an attack. Examples: “that’s foolish”, “you’re not going to succeed”, “mhmm I’ve heard/ seen better”. These people also try to box you in, often projecting their low-esteem and lack of ambition on to you.
2.) They Are Not Present
These people go ghost for days and usually are not apologetic about their disappearance. Also, these people expect you to be the one reaching out. In the case that you do reach out, they have no reason for falling off the face of the earth.
3.) Take. Take. TAKE
These people get so used to you giving yourself (time, money, emotions, efforts) that they don’t even bother to pull their weight. They begin to feel entitled to it and really only reach out to get what they need from you. These people give very little and when they do, they will often remind you that they did.
4.) Their Loyalty is questionable
Where there’s smoke, there’s fire. If you suspect that this person is funny (not for you), they’re most likely not. Don’t fight that thing that keeps nudging you. Also, usually people that are like that are really messy, so one way or another, the truth will come out.
When to let go
You have to let go when you’re ready. Don’t let anyone force you into leaving or staying in a toxic relationship. It is a complicated process and take for example a toxic family. How easy is it to just cut off a person who you’re connected to by blood? Consider even more when you live in a society or culture where family is “everything”. Give yourself time and be honest with yourself about the whole situation.
I used to be the kind of person to just completely cut these people off. I realized that this doesn't solve the problem (for me), I never addressed the issues, and so I would still be veeeery upset. Also, to make matters worse, I either just give the silent treatment, or I cuss the offender out (usually) , which is fun at first, but after the fact, I feel really drained.
Relationships are so complicated because they are an essential part of life, many times, we just don’t know where to draw the line. It’s all so stressful, right?
Anyways, thanks for reading.